Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
