we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
