Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
