Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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