He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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