Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
