I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
