One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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