we're blogging at a bar
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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