And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
