That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
