i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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