thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just took my morning after pill in the library
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
