Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
