I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Im part way to drunk.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
