my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
