woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
