her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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