So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
