i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
