just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
