walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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