No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize