I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
