Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
