After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
