Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize