It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
