I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize