super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize