White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
