Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
