do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just cropdusted the office
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
