Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize