My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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