this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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