Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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