one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
