Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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