WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize