I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
