I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
