I wish my penis had an off switch
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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