i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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