i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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