And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
