Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
do nipples grow back?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
