So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
