a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i've created a new STD.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
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