How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
