then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize