I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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