I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize