If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
