he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
