I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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