Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
