Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
