well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
high people should be assigned attendants
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
